Dating a friend and coworker
Listen, we all know there are people who we absolutely, 100% should not, must not date. But try not to be too cavalier in case, you know, you get fired. If you do decide this is legit, there are ways to maneuver, but you’re both going to have to learn to be flexible and tolerate a lot of bullshit. They will claim you get the special treatment, even if that is entirely untrue. A lunch here and there is fine, but limit the amount of times you are in his or her office alone with the door shut, even if it is strictly business. Quitting with dignity so you can screw in sweet private bliss is also a valid option. Hopefully your friend isn’t all murderous about that whole wanting to bang (er, “date”) his sister thing, but all other examples set forth by our nation’s forebrothers show that charting these choppy waters isn’t easy.
Especially if you’re that rare breed of relatively attractive cubicle dweller under the age of 40 -- aka “office hot.” You’re smart, so you already know this is a beyond horrible idea, but after the fourth or fifth round at happy hour, you literally give zero fucks, and what’s the big deal if you hook up, it’s just sex, amirite?? The less you interact at the office, the more you’re going to want to do all sorts of dirty things to each other later. It’s also totally hot to steal a kiss in the break room when no one else is watching. On a scale of 1 to worst possible decision you could make, this hovers somewhere around the worst possible decision you could make. There are ways to make this work so that neither of you end up on the wrong end of a lawsuit and/or at the unemployment office. At least until you are entirely sure that this is going to be a lasting relationship and not just some sort of taboo “sex-on-desk” fantasy that you both need to get out of your systems.
It's always wise to keep in mind, though, that in the workplace you should think and plan before you act. What are your positions in the company pecking order? If you do tell this colleague you're not interested in them as a partner they may claim - unfairly - that that was never their intention in the first place, craftily extricating themselves from the area of conflict, leaving a sour taste all round.
Quick backstory: We didn't meet on the job — we were dating for almost four years before we started working together (which, by the way, wasn't planned … But for about 11 months, we sat three cubes apart from one another and kept our relationship under wraps. People sometimes act differently at work than they do in their personal life. No need to send a blast email with "the news" of you and your cube-mate's new relationship.
Dating a co-worker can lead to long-lasting love but only if you proceed wisely and with care.
IT HAS been estimated that up to half of us meet our future partners through or at work, which makes it a significant venue for budding romance.
You will probably have had the opportunity to study this person quite closely before starting to date them. What do you expect the company will think about a romance between you?
Work is a way of test-driving a potential partner (ie getting to know them) before taking the plunge and asking them out. Etiquette: Dating a work colleague requires a good amount of old-fashioned social etiquette, not because it will make you any more attractive but because it will make the whole process a lot more comfortable and a lot less difficult, if and when the whole thing ends. Working with someone means forging an effective relationship.
This system obviously has advantages over night-time pick-ups in darkened clubs, holiday romances, (notoriously short-lived), or blind dates arranged by friends. High-powered City workers of the Nineties are accustomed to using the office as a complete life- support system. Making a pass is a dangerous manoeuvre in the workplace. Trying to blur the lines between business and pleasure will appear sleazy.
The minute homeboy sees you look at his sister the same way you look at the hot bartender or a big pile of wings, your cover is completely blown.
If you and his sister have already professed your love to each other, you could approach your buddy together so that he knows everyone is on the same page and you’re not being a creepy perv.
The man I’ve been seeing isn’t my boss and I’m not his, but we do work pretty closely together on a lot of projects (which is how our relationship bloomed).
We’ve been seeing each other for a little over a month.
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Here are some tips to help make sure you don’t end up wanting to resign if dating a colleague doesn’t work out.